Saturday, October 20, 2012

It's getting worse day by day

It's been awhile since I wrote here, again~ nothing good to write about, I only have bad ones. Day by day, it's getting worse and worse. Tiny little thing, still can argue or quarrel about it, am I suppose to be more patient? Yeah, I guess I need to. I tolerate most of the time, but sometimes I admit I did ignored her because of my own problems.

I'm also a human, sometimes you can't expect me to do this and that at the same time, my brain doesn't multitask at all. Because of your inconsideration, you always end up hurting me or make me angry. And you never feel sorry for it, what am I to you? Toy? Something you can release your stress onto? Hey I have feelings too, if I'm a rock or something maybe I don't care, but you're special to me, and yet you always hurt me.

Today (or yesterday) I waited for you to login, if you don't have the mood, you could have say so. I didn't say anything offensive and yet you become angry for no reason, just because of me rushing you. If you don't want it, then don't do it. Why want to sunbian? You make it sound so easy, sunbian... But what about me that waited you half day? Sunbian and not playing with me, that's a pretty good way of letting me down.

Last thing, about the attitude. I really hate people that don't have manners at all, I waited you half a day, you can at least thank me for waiting you or decline my request. No, you didn't. As the matter of fact, you talk like you have done nothing wrong, correct all the way, and I'm always the bad guy. Like waiting for you is the thing I need to do, I don't have to wait for you if I don't want to. I'm offering a helping hand, and you just slapped away my hand with your attitude.

If this continues, can we walk the rest of the road together until the end? Or we'll end up walking our own different paths? I wish we don't have to separate, please don't leave us no choice.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

About Privacy~~

Someone doesn't really know about privacy eh? Okay, I'll explain it right here right now~ Yes, anyone can read my post, and that doesn't mean you have interfere with my privacy right because that is what I wanted to write, BUT anyone take my post and post it onto his/her personal space, that is already offended MY PRIVACY, I posted here with my reason, if I wanted to post on facebook, I already did, and let more people know~ and who will view blogs these days? I know not many will do~ This is called trying to keep a low profile, as it's just temporary temper~ But some people just want to have fun, wanted more people to know, so might as well just tag along with it~

Monday, September 10, 2012

Continue previous 1 shall we?

Well well~ Someone is taking my posts without my permission, fine then~ Since you're so into it, until came into a blog to take something that means you just have a miserable life than me~ lol, Why even bother to care if you know it's not you? Only those who do it, feel it~ Tapi banyak yang perasan, pelik juga~ I didn't type in the names, so whoever thinks it is, well basically I have no comment on it~

Thank you for giving the title "Legend", but I'm much not appreciate it since I'm not so close with you or even friend with you, so f*ck off~ :D and again, it's to someone only, yang perasan mia, no comments~ I don't even mind whoever is against me, I'll just go on with or without only, not a big deal~

And finally, let's put a couple of picture to celebrate shall we? Trolololol!~


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Seriously Immature People and no Consideration!~

It's been awhile since I posted something, so here am I posting some stuffs, the bad 1 as usual~

It's already been a month since I stayed here, well, all I did was to tolerate others~ and now I think I can't take it anymore, this is seriously irritating and annoying~ Some will not take the opinion of others, and some are damn self centered~ Maybe I'm sensitive, but seriously I never see anyone clean this house up, unless I started to clean something. Nobody clean the toilet, nobody cleans the room~ Fine, I'll do it since my nose can't take any dust.

The cooking is not always good, and the "Chef" will not listen to any opinion, and treat us like "lab rats". I do not like that 1 bit, at least make something good and not do anything on your own bitch!~ I don't like to mix with them because they acted like immature children, even though some is already 22 years old, grow up will ya?

The wifi is just doing fine, why insert that damn email and made until everyone can't online? I do not understand. I tried to fix it too, but there's too much stuffs I do not know, and those stuffs are PERSONAL INFORMATION! I do not want to act like I know it all because I'm not. After the line is restored, thanks to somebody, you insert the password like shit, yeah thanks a lot.. And EVERYONE acted like nothing happened, well I have to say thank you and fuck you~ Screw yourself in your studies as I already made up my mind to move out as soon as I get the chance.

I know the world's fair, what you did to others, others will do it to you eventually, so if I'm lucky enough, I maybe have the chance to see it~

Friday, May 18, 2012

Another nothing good post~

Well, I only updated the bad ones recently~ I'm just tired, physically and mentally... I got into fight with my parents because of some misunderstanding involving someone else... I go to work, there's this cocky brat who works longer than me 3 months and orders around me... I'm seriously not the type who took orders from those who are inexperience themselves, giving orders to me is seriously pissing me off... After all the stress during the day, at night depends. Mood swings, misunderstandings, not willing to listening carefully(that's what i think), sudden silent, rude, etc~ Well, I'm at fault too because sometimes I said something 1st... Price to pay before something good happens, it's always like this...

Saturday, May 5, 2012

No good...

This is already the 3rd day I'm back home... I still feel like an alien coming out of jail... I don't recognize things that used to be familiar with me... I feel isolated... The way I used to feel... When I reach home, I don't even get a welcome home, that surely put me emotional, feeling down... Even online seemed like a new thing to me, have not been using it for almost 3 weeks... Why is this happening? Yes, because my heart has been torn apart... As days passes, I'm feeling worse... Why going through all these avoidable trouble...? Experience? No, I feel someone that is very important to me, doesn't trust me anymore, treating me like an outsider, I've been lock outside, not being able to go inside, I cannot do anything... Powerless... Loneliness... Why am I being treat differently? Yes, I know why... Because some are not suppose to know, so I have to get a different treatment... I only get to see when I am with that person, online or in real life... Other than that, I'm a total stranger... Texting each other, I lied actually... I got too many things to say until I don't feel like typing, words cannot express my feelings, so I always type the usual things... My logic is starting to take over my feelings, I can no longer be patient when logic is doing the work... I tend to get angry back and started to type things that I'm not suppose to say... Those who are important to me, I tried so hard to protect their feelings... Who's going to protect my feelings? They do not even understand me 1 bit, I just need something simple... Something that my parents used to give me when I was a child until 4 or 5 years old... Not good, I've been a crybaby when I was little, please just stay inside like this... I don't want to be weak anymore...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Misunderstand!?

Ok, I'll start with what I was doing when I started texting with you... I was at the cafe eating my dinner, and suddenly my friends were asking me to rush the moral assignment, the deadline which is tomorrow/today(the 13th). So basically my mood was ruined for like 30%, cause they did not ask me to do much, just the power point.. And then, the chinese asked us to go for dancing practice, which is not necessary for me to go, that ruined about 10%... ok fine~ these are thephysically things that bugs me~

Alright then, to the main point... Do you notice when I text you I were like pleading you? and all I get for a reply is no, bu fang bian, cannot? So I was frustrated with the assignment and all I got is nofrom you, then what can I do? so I was like no choice lo, tell her to have fun while I'm stuck in HELL... but what did you reply? Wei.. now I fang bian liao~ kns you... When I read this, do you know what I felt? Is like telling people to have fun and the other scold "fuck you / screw you"~ that's just basically made my mood from bad to worst... is Worst, not worse...

1st you said cannot call, then now you scold me for saying have fun... and you know I RARELY PUT ^_^... When I put it I mean it... I didn't said it like half ass, I'm dead serious.. So why did I get a scolding? I need an explaination on this... so what if I said have fun~ you can just say, eh, I haven't go there la, later free liao i call/you call~ why need to reply wei / kns you? Thanks to you, I didn't even sleep at night... 4am 5am 6am 7am woke up... and when I said I wanna settle with you, you said not now, wait.. you wanna know how I feel? but I don't plan to tell you unless you wanna know... that's all I wanna say... just reply me a post or a comment... I'm feeling really down...

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

5th & 6th of Febuary!

I've been waiting so long for that day to arrive, as I know both of us miss each other very much!~ As I was counting down, I couldn't wait to see her too ><". To be honest, I didn't slept well on Saturday(which is the 4th) night, thanks to my brother -_- so I had to stop half way during the way to Johor, to rest of course~

When I reach there is like 10am already I guess? I went to fetch her and ate breakfast, I already have mine earlier so I just watch her eat~ lol~ After that, we went around to see for reference books for her STPM~ I didn't mean to look tired, but after a long way of driving, that was energy consuming for my eyes, I'm sorry~ ><

We went to Danga Bay during the afternoon, it was a hot hot day and nobody was around o_o I guess we went at the wrong time~ lol. and what did we eat for lunch already? >< Ah yes, before we went into a mall, but I already forgotten what mall is it... Putra? My brain sucks =_=|| then we were trying how to hold our hands together, I felt happy when she's holding my hand xD (too bad my hand tends to get sweaty all the times, sorry ><) and we found out a nice arcade, which is quite updated too :D

After that, we went back to her house, it was kinda awkward for me to stay in, >< I try to be as polite as possible, of course they're not fake or anything, just trying to leave a good impression. She said I did a fine job, but still I think there's space for improvement~ It was our 1st date during the night, and thanks to some issues, we missed the movie~ I was a bit disappointed and glad at the same time~ Disappointed would be we missed the show, but that's not really the problem~ I'm glad because I get more time to look at her, taking a few stupid photos before we went back~ hahaha~

At her house, we don't have much stuff to do, we even played chess~ Well I was planning to teach her, but she's not in the mood, so oh well~ Spent a lot of time together, massaging her, hugging her~ and she even let me lean on her lap >///< (Felt so happy!)

We planned to wake up early for the next day, but because of me don't wanna bother her during her sleep + it's not so good to bother her mom, so I decided to let her sleep and watch some TV program~ When she woke up, she say that I didn't wake up her, I have my reasons not to do so, sorry ya~ >< then we went out to eat our breakfast, and buy her reference books~ I used my last RM50 on a pencil case, a bottle and 2 pile of papers~ and there goes my 50 voucher lol~ and since that day was Chinese Valentine's Day, we decided to buy each other chocolates~ even though it seemed simple, but it meant a lot to me :)

Then we went to a park near to her house, spend a lot of time together~ around 2 hours I guess, even though we didn't talk much, but I felt warm and happy~ Around evening, I kiss her goodbye and went home~ Even though she was expecting a hug from me, sorry I didn't notice~ ><

So, these are the summary of the happiest days of my life(currently of course lolol)~

Laopo~ I love you <3 (I'm looking forward to see you on June o) muuuack!~

Painful Memories~

Memories, Sharp as Daggers,
Pierce into the Flesh of Today.
Suicide of Love took away all that matters,
And buried the remains in an
Unmarked Grave in Your Heart...

緋色月下、狂咲ノ絶