No good...

This is already the 3rd day I'm back home... I still feel like an alien coming out of jail... I don't recognize things that used to be familiar with me... I feel isolated... The way I used to feel... When I reach home, I don't even get a welcome home, that surely put me emotional, feeling down... Even online seemed like a new thing to me, have not been using it for almost 3 weeks... Why is this happening? Yes, because my heart has been torn apart... As days passes, I'm feeling worse... Why going through all these avoidable trouble...? Experience? No, I feel someone that is very important to me, doesn't trust me anymore, treating me like an outsider, I've been lock outside, not being able to go inside, I cannot do anything... Powerless... Loneliness... Why am I being treat differently? Yes, I know why... Because some are not suppose to know, so I have to get a different treatment... I only get to see when I am with that person, online or in real life... Other than that, I'm a total stranger... Texting each other, I lied actually... I got too many things to say until I don't feel like typing, words cannot express my feelings, so I always type the usual things... My logic is starting to take over my feelings, I can no longer be patient when logic is doing the work... I tend to get angry back and started to type things that I'm not suppose to say... Those who are important to me, I tried so hard to protect their feelings... Who's going to protect my feelings? They do not even understand me 1 bit, I just need something simple... Something that my parents used to give me when I was a child until 4 or 5 years old... Not good, I've been a crybaby when I was little, please just stay inside like this... I don't want to be weak anymore...