Monday, September 27, 2010

Blablabla~(Dunno what title for this)


Today I woke up early as normal human, and I realize I had nothing to do except play games... What else did I know besides than games, when I think of this, I'm feeling I'm the most useless person in the world... Even though I can be good in games, but then this brings no good for me, I always says study no good blablabla, but deep down inside I knew study was important, the problem is I couldn't see the future, maybe I'm too scared to see what's lies in front of me, so I keep denying myself... To keep me away from the things I want, but honestly, I don't even know what I want...

To set a target, I must have a goal to achieve... But then I can't think of anything I'm good at except games... For the pass 3 months, I've been sitting in the house rotting away... I'm already this old already but then I'm still doing nothing... Is there anything I can do? I always wanted to help, at least that won't make me feel helpless and useless, I want to do something that can make my life meaningful, but then, I've wasted so much time and yet I'm still a nobody...

I know no one can give me answer except myself, what I truly want... But when will this answer came to me or will I be able to find it, will it be too late? Will I regret? It's so hard to find my other self, I feel so incomplete within me...

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Painful Memories~

Memories, Sharp as Daggers,
Pierce into the Flesh of Today.
Suicide of Love took away all that matters,
And buried the remains in an
Unmarked Grave in Your Heart...

緋色月下、狂咲ノ絶