Another nothing good post~

Well, I only updated the bad ones recently~ I'm just tired, physically and mentally... I got into fight with my parents because of some misunderstanding involving someone else... I go to work, there's this cocky brat who works longer than me 3 months and orders around me... I'm seriously not the type who took orders from those who are inexperience themselves, giving orders to me is seriously pissing me off... After all the stress during the day, at night depends. Mood swings, misunderstandings, not willing to listening carefully(that's what i think), sudden silent, rude, etc~ Well, I'm at fault too because sometimes I said something 1st... Price to pay before something good happens, it's always like this...

No good...

This is already the 3rd day I'm back home... I still feel like an alien coming out of jail... I don't recognize things that used to be familiar with me... I feel isolated... The way I used to feel... When I reach home, I don't even get a welcome home, that surely put me emotional, feeling down... Even online seemed like a new thing to me, have not been using it for almost 3 weeks... Why is this happening? Yes, because my heart has been torn apart... As days passes, I'm feeling worse... Why going through all these avoidable trouble...? Experience? No, I feel someone that is very important to me, doesn't trust me anymore, treating me like an outsider, I've been lock outside, not being able to go inside, I cannot do anything... Powerless... Loneliness... Why am I being treat differently? Yes, I know why... Because some are not suppose to know, so I have to get a different treatment... I only get to see when I am with that person, online or in real life... Other than that, I'm a total stranger... Texting each other, I lied actually... I got too many things to say until I don't feel like typing, words cannot express my feelings, so I always type the usual things... My logic is starting to take over my feelings, I can no longer be patient when logic is doing the work... I tend to get angry back and started to type things that I'm not suppose to say... Those who are important to me, I tried so hard to protect their feelings... Who's going to protect my feelings? They do not even understand me 1 bit, I just need something simple... Something that my parents used to give me when I was a child until 4 or 5 years old... Not good, I've been a crybaby when I was little, please just stay inside like this... I don't want to be weak anymore...